The path of not here is part of the path of here...

Page 111 in Boyd Varty's book, The Lion Tracker's Guide to Life

Nearly 18 months ago, I was abruptly knocked off the career path I'd been on for 29 years. This morning, Rigby, pulled us towards a neighbor we haven't seen all summer, and he waved us over, calling out, "Hey, Kira, how's your new thing going?" as we approached him at his car. Tears sprang up, unbidden, as I searched for a concise way to share all that has transpired. How isolated and sluggish I felt the first few months, how grateful I was for the first few clients and the momentum generated by referrals, and how after just a year and a half figuring this new thing out, I feel more myself - awake and attuned beyond merely caffeinated - which fuels a virtuous cycle of noticing, reflecting, and refining. "It's going great," I said, beaming as he gave an enthusiastic thumbs up and got into his car. "Thanks for remembering."

As we continued our walk, I thought about what I would have shared if the social situation didn't require a brief reply. Like, if we were on a porch, rocking in chairs facing the mountains and taking in the breeze with a mug of tea. My "back on my feet after setback" story could emphasize the hours spent upskilling, passing certification exams, logging the hours doing the work of coaching clients. Or the strength of my network, the source of so many fruitful conversations and leadership development consulting gigs. But what I know for sure is that even more than a strong work ethic and great relationships, an outsized portion of the progress I've made is attributable to one thing: getting coached, myself.

Boyd Varty, author of the Lion Tracker's Guide to Life, which I reread after our recent trip to South Africa, likens coaching to tracking. It's about learning a different way of moving out of a lost or stuck place. Coaches can help us get out of autopilot, moving through life repeating well-worn pathways, by interrupting our patterns and stories and meaning making with questions that allow us to see our thinking and choices differently. And then encouraging us to notice the clues that help us move towards what we really want. Inner tracking, so to speak. And the more I am coached to hone my attention, the better I am at coaching others to pause, to observe, and to choose.

My favorite passage in the book is what I came here to share: "Trackers try things. The tracker on a lost track enters a process of rediscovery that is fluid. He relies on a process of elimation, inquiry, confirmation; a process of discovery and feedback. He enters a ritual of focused attention. As paradoxical as it sounds, going down a path and not finding a track is part of finding the track...(the path of not here)...No action is considred a waste, and the key is to keep moving, readjusting, welcoming feedback. The path of not here is part of the path of here."